| Notes |
Married:
- FIRST METHODIST CHURCH.
SHE WOULD HAVE DISOWNED US, IT BELONGED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND. WE WERE BOTH KIND OF RUGGED LOOKING, MY NOSE WAS PEELING FROM THE SUNBURN. WE WENT TO LOS ANGELES AND LOOKED AROUND. YOU COULDN’T WINDOW SHOP LIKE WE DO HERE, WALK ALONG AND LOOK, THEY WERE GOING SO FAST THEY’D KNOCK YOU DOWN. WE WENT UP AND DOWN THE STREETS TO SEE HOW MANY CARS WE COULD SEE FROM OKLAHOMA. SHOWS YOU HOW YOUNG WE WERE, WE GOT A THRILL OUT OF THAT AND WE SAW QUITE A FEW. WE WENT IN A CHINESE PLACE, I NEVER HAD ATE CHINESE FOOD. THEY ALL WORE THEIR HAIR LONG, THE MEN HAD THEIR HAIR IN A PIGTAIL - LOOKED LIKE THAY DIDN’T HAVE ANY HAIR IN FRONT, JUST A PLAIT IN THE BACK AND ALL THOSE SLANT EYES! I WAS A LITTLE AFRAID, ANNE WAS A LITTLE BIT TOO. NOW THINGS LIKE THAT SHE WAS BRAVER THAN I WAS. ANNE AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS SEVENTY SOME ODD YEARS, WE WERE JUST AS CLOSE AS SISTERS, CLOSE AS NELLIE AND I. ANNE LIKED THINGS THAT I DID. I WAS ALWAYS ADVENTUROUS, NELLIE NEVER WAS. WHEN WE WENT THROUGH SAYRE ON OUR WAY TO CALIFORNIA, NELLIE WAS LIVING THERE WITH HER FIRST HUSBAND, I CALLED HER AND TOLD HER WE WERE ON OUR WAY AND SHE SAID, "OH PEARL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT FOR?" SHE NEVER DID WANT TO DO ANYTHING NEW. I WENT AHEAD AND THEN LOOKED AND LISTENED AFTERWARDS. WHEN WE WERE KIDS WE’D WORK IN THE COTTON PATCH AND COME IN FOR DINNER, I’D BE JUMPING FENCES AND STUMPS AND SHE’D BE JUST DRAGGING ALONG. YOU’D THINK I HADN’T DONE NOTHING AND WE HAD KEPT RIGHT SIDE-BY-SIDE, BUT SHE WAS JUST TIRED, LIKE I AM NOWADAYS. MOTHER DIDN’T THINK I DONE ANYTHING IN THE FIELDS; SHE’D MAKE ME WASH THE DISHES AND NELLIE GOT TO GO LAY DOWN. THEY HAD A GOOD SWIMMING HOLE RIGHT THERE ON DEER CREEK AND A BIG ELM TREE WITH A HUGE LIMB. WE’D GET UP ON THAT AND JUMP OFF IN THE WATER. I COULD SWIM BUT I WASN’T GRACEFUL, LIKE A DOG. DAD WANTED US TO WORK, PLANTING CORN, AND THE BLOOMING CROWS WOULD SIT UP ON THE FENCE AND WATCH AND COME ALONG BEHIND US AND DIG IT UP AND EAT IT. SO NELLIE SAID, "WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO THIS OVER, PEARL, SO WHY DON’T WE TAKE AND BURY THIS SEED." WE WANTED TO GO SWIMMING AND THEN GO INTO YALE, EVERYONE WENT TO TOWN ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND WE DIDN’T WANT TO MISS IT. SO WE WENT DOWN ON THE CREEK AND DUG A HOLE AND BURIED THAT CORN, AND YOU KNOW, IT ALL CAME UP THERE IN ONE PLACE AND DAD FOUND IT. ANNE AND I HAD A BALL ON THAT TRIP TO CALIFORNIA, WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. WE STILL DO. WHEN I WAS OUT THERE LAST SUMMER WE STILL HAD A LOT OF FUN - JUST A COUPLE OF OLD LADIES. I HADN’T SEEN HER SINCE SHE’D GOT OLD AND I LOOKED AROUND FOR HER THERE IN THE AIRPORT. THE PORTER WAS TAKING ME AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR AND I LOOKED AROUND TO SEE IF I COULD SEE ANNE. FINALLY I SPOTTED HER, THREE OLD LADIES STANDING THERE, DRESSED REAL NICE JUST A CHATTERING AND LOOKING FOR ME. SO I WENT DOWN RIGHT BY THEM, THE PORTER WAS TAKING ME TO THE BATHROOM, AND I WENT RIGHT BY THEM AND I SAID, "HELLO, ANNIE." SHE DIDN’T RECOGNIZE ME AT ALL AND THEN HER YOUNGEST SISTER SAID, "THERE WENT RUBY." SO HERE THEY COME DOWN THERE BEHIND ME. SHE DIDN’T KNOW ME. COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE I FINISHED THE SIXTH GRADE AFTER WE MOVED TO YALE AND THEN I DIDN’T GET TO GO ANY MORE. I STUDIED A LOT AT NIGHT; I ASKED THE TEACHER AND SHE WROTE ME OUT A LIST OF THINGS THAT WOULD BE THE BEST TO STUDY TO HELP ME OUT. THE SCHOOL WAS A LITTLE COUNTRY SCHOOL WITH ALL EIGHT GRADES, THE TEACHER WAS A YOUNG WOMAN, SHE WAS IN HER EARLY TWENTIES. DAD WOULDN’T LET US FINISH SCHOOL, WE COULDN’T EVER EVEN FINISH A TERM LIKE THE OTHER KIDS, WE HAD TO GO TO NEW SCHOOLS, SOME PLACES WE LIVED THERE WASN’T ANY SCHOOL CLOSE. I MET MY HUSBAND, ROY, THERE IN YALE. HIS DAD WAS THE [SCHOOL] CENSUS TAKER, SO WE GOT TO KNOW HIM THEN WE WENT TO THE SAME CHURCH AND I MET ROY. HE ONLY FINISHED THE EIGHTH GRADE AND IT WAS HIS FAULT HE DIDN’T GET TO GO ON, HE JUST DIDN’T WANT TO GO. THE OIL FIELDS WERE OPENING UP AROUND YALE AND HE AND THE OTHER BOYS OUT THERE WERE MAKING GOOD MONEY AND HE WANTED TO DO THAT, SO HE DIDN’T FINISH. ROY WAS GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHEN I MET HIM, AND I WAS TOO. I WAS 15, FROM AUGUST TO APRIL OLDER THAN HIM. HE STARTED SOMETIMES DRIVING ME HOME AFTER A PARTY. SOMETIMES HIS DAD WOULD LET HIM DRIVE THE CAR, BUT NOT VERY OFTEN. HE HAD TO DO HIS COURTIN’ IN A BUGGY. AFTER HE’D TAKE ME HOME, WHEN WE DID GET TO GOING TOGETHER, CLARENCE’S SISTER (MY BROTHER-IN-LAW), MARY, WOULD MEET HIM DOWN AT THE CORNER, THEY HAD AN AFFAIR GOING. HER SISTER TOLD ON HER AND HER MOTHER WENT DOWN AT THE CORNER AND CAUGHT HER AND WHIPPED HER ALL THE WAY HOME. ROY AND I, WE WENT TOGETHER A LITTLE OVER THREE YEARS, BUT DAD DIDN’T LIKE HIM; I DON’T THINK MOTHER EVER DID EITHER. THEY THOUGHT HE WAS ORNERY. HIS FOLKS VISITED OUR HOUSE A LOT AND WE VISITED THERE, OUR PARENTS WERE ALL ABOUT THE SAME AGE AND WE LIVED JUST A MILE APART. ANYWAY, WE LEFT THERE, DAD LEFT AND WENT TO ARKANSAS, AND ROY AND I WERE BROKE UP THEN, HIM AND MARY WERE GOING STRONG, WE’D WENT TOGETHER THREE AND A HALF YEARS. FIFTEEN YEARS LATER WE GOT MARRIED. HIS SISTER, BESSIE, AND I NEVER QUIT WRITING EACH OTHER DURING THAT TIME, WE WERE ALWAYS JUST LIKE SISTERS. MARY RAN AWAY WITH THE 101 RANCH SHOW AND HAD A BABY BY ONE OF THE PERFORMERS SO THAT ENDED HIS ROMANCE. AND I WAS ENGAGED FOR AWHILE, THIS GUY WAS GETTING PRETTY SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, THEN I GOT A LETTER FROM ROY, I GUESS BESSIE HAD TOLD HIM I WAS GETTING MARRIED. WHEN I GOT THAT LETTER, I JUST FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE OTHER MAN. ROY WAS ALWAYS FIRST WITH ME, THERE WAS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM, I FELT LIKE HE WAS PART OF ME. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS WHEN I TELL YOU, ALL THIS TIME WE NEVER HAD WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A CLOSE KISS, UNTIL AFTER WE WERE MARRIED. JUST A PECK ON THE CHEEK OR A HUG. BESSIE AND CLARENCE LIVED IN YALE AND I WENT TO VISIT THEM AND MARY WAS BACK VISITING HER FOLKS AND SHE WENT OVER AND TRIED TO GET ROY TO LEAVE WITH HER THEN. BUT I WAS THERE, AND I GUESS I HAD A STRONGER HOLD ON HIM THAN SHE DID. AFTER THAT, ROY AND HIS BROTHER, RAY, AND CLARENCE CAME UP HERE AND I WAS WORING DOWN HERE [BETHANY, OKLAHOMA - NOW PART OF THE GREATER OKLAHOMA CITY AREA] AT THE BETHANY CHILDREN’S HOME, AND ROY ASKED ME THEN WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING MARRIED AND I TOLD HIM, "I DON’T KNOW. I’LL LET YOU KNOW IN JUNE WHEN I COME TO VISIT BESSIE." FOR SOME REASON WE DIDN’T MAKE OUR MINDS UP IN JUNE. WELL, I ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE SOMETHING WHEN I GOT MARRIED, I LOVED HIM, BUT I WANTED MORE THAN BE COULD GIVE ME. SO FINALLY, WHEN I GOT BACK HERE, I WROTE HIM A LETTER AND I SAID, "ROY, IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED, I DO TOO. I DON’T THINK I WOULD BE HAPPY WITH ANYBODY ELSE." HE WROTE BACK AND SAID, "I KNOW I WON’T." SO I GOT ON A TRAIN AND WENT TO YALE. CLARENCE MET THE TRAIN, THEN ROY AND I MET AT THE CHURCH AND WE WERE MARRIED THERE THAT NIGHT. HIS FOLKS DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT DAY. IT WAS CHRISTMAS MORNING, WE GOT MARRIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE. AND HIS FOLKS HAD STAYED WITH SOMEONE IN TOWN. THE NEXT DAY THEY CAME BACK HOME BRINGING THE DINNER AND THEY WERE SO SURPRISED TO SEE ME THERE. WE STAYED THERE AWHILE, ROY AND RAY WOULD TAKE TURNS STAYING WITH THE FOLKS. I’D GET SO MAD AT PAPA SOMETIMES I COULD RING HIS NECK BUT WE GOT ALONG REAL WELL. ONE TIME I HAD MADE CORNBREAD AND HAD THE TABLE ALL FIXED WITH CORNBREAD AND MILK WAITING FOR THEM TO COME AND EAT SUPPER, AND PAPA GOT THAT CORNBREAD AND WENT OUT AND FED IT TO HIS TURKEYS. AND, HERE I HAD A WOOD STOVE, TAKES THEM FOREVER TO GET HOT, AND I HAD TO START OVER. I WAS 34 WHEN WE GOT MARRIED. I HAD BEEN ENGAGED TWICE IN BETWEEN THERE BUT IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE I WOULD HEAR FROM ROY AND I WOULD CHANGE MY MIND. ONE TIME THE GIRLS WHERE I WAS WORKING MADE ME A NIGHTIE WHEN THEY HAD THE SHOWER FOR ME. THIS FELLOW WAS WELL-TO-DO, HE TRAVELED, WE WOULD HAVE HAD NO STEADY HOME, WE WOULD HAVE LIVED IN HOTELS MOST OF THE TIME. THEY MADE THIS NIGHTIE AND SAID, "PEARL, THIS IS FOR THE FIRST NIGHT." WELL, I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT WHAT THAT FIRST NIGHT MEANT AND I DIDN’T USE THAT NIGHTIE FOR THE "FIRST NIGHT." I JUST STARTED WEARING IT THEN, AND DIDN’T MARRY THAT MAN. WHEN ROY AND I GOT MARRIED, I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THE FIRST NIGHT, IT WAS JUST NATURAL, WE JUST BELONGED TOGETHER. HE WAS THE OTHER HALF OF ME—AND WHEN HE DIED THAT’S WHAT IT FELT LIKE WHEN THEY BURIED HIM, LIKE PART OF ME WENT IN THAT GRAVE RIGHT WITH HIM. NEVER COULD FIND ANYBODY ELSE TO PUT IN HIS PLACE. SO, I GUESS HE WAS MY SOUL MATE. HARD TIMES WE HAD AN AWFUL TIME. IT WAS DURING THE DEPRESSION. ROY JUST WORKED HERE, THERE AND YONDER. BUT, IT DIDN’T TAKE MUCH TO MAKE US HAPPY AND WE WERE STILL LIKE THAT UP TO THE TIME HE WAS KILLED. MAYBE JUST A PICNIC, MABE ALL WE’D HAVE WOULD BE EGGS, AND WE WERE HAPPY AND WE’D HAVE A GOOD TIME JUST HAVING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER. AT HOME IN THE EVENING, WE’D ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO, PLAY GAMES AND THINGS. NOW, IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE TO HAVE MONEY TO GO HERE, THERE AND YONDER TO HAVE FUN, BUT WE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT THEN. THE DUST WAS AWFUL, THE FIRST TIME IT BLEW I WAS WORKING DOWN AT THE BETHANY CHILDREN’S HOME, IT’S THE CONVALESCENT HOME NOW, BUT THEN IT WAS AN ORPHAN’S HOME. THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE OF OKLAHOMA CITY HAD IT. IT [THE DUST] WAS SO AWFUL, WE KEPT THE WINDOWS CLOSED; THE DUST WOULD STILL GET IN THE HOUSE AND COVER EVERYTHING. THAT’S HOW WE WENT INTO DEBT. THAT YEAR WE HAD TO PLANT SEVERAL TIMES. WE’D PLANT SOMETHING AND THE WIND WOULD JUST SWEEP THE WHOLE THING OUT OF THE GROUND. THEN IT WOULD COME A HARD BEATING RAIN AND JUST BEAT IT DOWN TO THE GROUND. WHEN CLIFFORD (SON) SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT WANTING A FARM, I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. IT DON’T INTEREST ME ANY. WE HAD SUCH A HARD TIME THERE. PASTEBOARD IN OUR SHOES. IT MIGHT NOT BE SO BAD IF YOU HAD PLENTY, I LOVED ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS, BUT WHEN TIMES ARE HARD AND THERE IS NO MONEY ANYWHERE, AND YOU’RE IN DEBT, ITS FOR THE BIRDS. STAMPS COST 3 CENTS AND LOTS OF TIMES I COULDN’T DIG UP THE MONEY FOR A 3 CENT STAMP. THAT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK NOW, BUT THERE WAS MANY A TIME I COULDN’T DIG UP THE MONEY FOR A STAMP. THINGS WERE SO CHEAP BUT YOU DIDN’T HAVE MONEY TO BUY ANYTHING. YOU COULD GET EGGS FOR 10 CENTS A DOZEN. CLIFFORD SAID HE’D LIKE TO HAVE KEPT THAT OLD FARM. WE HAD SUCH A HARD TIME THERE. I HAVE A LOT OF GOOD MEMORIES THERE BUT I WOULDN’T WANT THE PLACE. IF ROY COULD HAVE GOT IT—HE WANTED IT. BUT ONE OF HIS SISTERS AND HER SONS WOULDN’T LET IT BE SOLD. HE HAD THE PAPERS AND THE MONEY TO BUY IT. WELL, I WOULD HAVE STAYED THERE, I DON’T CARE HOW THINGS WENT AFTER HE WAS KILLED. I WOULD HAVE STAYED AND LET THE KIDS HAVE HAD IT, BUT THEY WOULDN’T LET ROY HAVE IT. BUT WHEN CLIFFORD GETS TO TALKING ABOUT IT, I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. WHEN WE LIVED IN STILWATER [22 MILES WEST OF YALE AND HOME TO OKLAHOMA A&M COLLEGE THEN - NOW, OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY], ROY AND I BOTH WORKING TO GET THE BILLS PAID, YOU SEE WE OWED $3,500.00 AND IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO PAY THAT OUT, NO HIGHER THAN WAGES WERE. BUT ONCE A MONTH WE WENT TO A PICTURE SHOW AND ATE OUT. THEY HAD A HAMBURGER PLACE THERE, ANN’S WAS THE NAME OF IT, AND WE’D GO TO ANN’S AND HAVE HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES AND A BOTTLED DRINK AND THAT WAS OUR TREAT UNTIL THE NEXT MONTH. WE’D MANAGE TO GET WEINERS AND MARSMALLOWS AND GO DOWN IN THE WOODS AND TOAST THEM, SOMETIMES WE’D JUST GO TO THE FRONT YARD AND HAVE OUR EGGS, CRACKERS AND PEANUT BUTTER AND THAT’S ALL WE’D HAVE AT THE PICNIC. CHILDREN I HAD ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN AT HOME, CLIFFORD AND ANNA RITA IN THE SAME ROOM, THE SAME BED. I HAD A DOCTOR AND NURSE BOTH, THEY CAME TO THE HOUSE THEN. WESLEY WAS BORN IN A LITTLE LOG CABIN. OH, WE DID ENJOY HIM, ROY AND I. WE DIDN’T THINK WE WERE GOING TO GET TO KEEP HIM. THEY DIDN’T THINK HIM OR I EITHER ONE WOULD PULL THROUGH IT. I HAD TO STAY IN BED ALMOST THE WHOLE TIME I CARRIED HIM, WITH MY FEET UP, THOUGHT SURE I WAS GOING TO LOSE HIM. BUT, I NEVER HAD NO TROUBLE AT AL HAVING HIM. CLIFFORD, POOR LITLLE THING, I WAS JUST HALF UNDER, THEY GAVE ME ETHER, PUT THAT WIRE THING OVER MY FACE. I COULD HEAR EVERYTHING, BUT THAT WAS ALL. I HEARD THE DOCTOR TELL ROY, "YOU GO AND GET YOU A TUB AND FILL IT FULL OF WATER OUT OF THE WELL." WE HAD A BIG, NO. 3 TUB, AND HE DREW WATER OUT OF THE WELL IN ONE OF THOSE LONG BUCKETS AND FILLED THAT UP. MY SISTER-IN-LAW, SYLVIA, WAS THERE, AND ONE NEIGHBOR WAS THERE. MINNIE [ANOTHER SISTER-IN-LAW, SHE IS MY BROTHER GLEN’S WIFE] WAS THERE, THEY WERE VISITING AT THE TIME, HE WAS WORKING IN THE MINES IN ARIZONA AND THEY WERE OUT HERE ON VACATION. MOTHER WAS THERE, TOO, AND SHE SAID THERE HE WAS WITH THAT CORD WRAPPED TIGHT AROUND HIS NECK AND HE WAS JUST AS BLACK. BUT THE DOCTOR JUST TOOK THAT BABY, HAD ONE HAND UNDER HIS NECK AND THE OTHER UNDER HIS LITTLE BOTTOM AND JUST DUNKED HIM DOWN UNDER THAT WATER AND HELD HIM A LITTLE WHILE AND BROUGHT HIM UP, HE DUNKED HIM I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES SHE SAID, THEN FINALLY HE CAME UP AND LET OUT A BIG "WAA." THE DOCTOR GAVE A BIG SMILE AND SAID,"GRANDMA, HE’S ALL RIGHT." HE HADN’T THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BRING HIM TO.I COULD HEAR NOISE BUT YET I DIDN’T KNOW ENOUGH TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT IT. AND THEN WHEN I GOT TO SEE HIM, HIS BED HAD ALL WHITE SHEETS AND EVERYTHING, I JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE MY EYES, THAT LITTLE BLACK BABY LAYING THERE IN THAT BED, HE DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A WHITE BOY. HE WAS PLUMP, WESLEY WAS POOR—THEY WOULDN’T LET ME EAT THIS AND THAT, COULDN’T EAT ANY GRAVY—AND I COULD EAT ANYTHING I WANTED TO WITH CLIFFORD AND HE WEIGHED A FEW OUNCES OVER 7 POUNDS AND WESLEY WEIGHED LESS THAN 7 POUNDS. I SAID, "MOTHER, CAN I HAVE HIM?" SO SHE GOT HIM AND PUT HIM IN MY BED AND HE WAS STILL JUST AS COLD...I CRIED TEN.
I WAS BIG WITH ANNA RITA, I WAS ALL OUT OF SHAPE, I WAS AS BIG BEHIND AS I WAS IN FRONT. SHE WEIGHED MORE THAN THE BOYS DID. SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL BABY, SHE HAD SUCH LONG LASHES, THEY JUST LAY WAY DOWN ON HER CHEEKS. HER HAIR WAS BLACK. I SURE WAS PROUD OF MY BOYS, I KIND OF WANTED CLIFFORD TO BE A GIRL AND THEN I DIDN’T EITHER, I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN TWO LITTLE BOYS COULD HAVE TOGETHER, SO I DIDN’T MUCH CARE. BUT IF ANNA RITA HAD BEEN A BOY I THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN HEARTBROKEN. WESLEY AND CLIFFORD FOUGHT, THEY’D GET IN THE BIGGEST FIGHTS, AND IT WAS USUALLY BECAUSE WESLEY WOULD DO SOMETHING TO MAKE CLIFFORD MAD AND THEN WESLEY WOULD LAUGH. MAKE CLIFFORD SO MAD! WE WANTED TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY, BUT THE DOCTOR TOLD US NOT TO AFTER ANNA RITA WAS BORN, I HAD MORE TROUBLE WITH [HAVING] HER. WE DIDN’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL THEN. A WOMAN I KNEW, SHE HAD 7 OR 8 KIDS, AND SO SHE TOLD HER HUSBAND, "I THINK I’LL HAVE AN ABORTION AND GET RID OF THIS ONE." SO SHE GOT RID OF ONE, I THINK SHE WAS ABOUT TWO OR THREE MONTHS ALONG. ANYWAY, SHE NEARLY DIED, SHE EVEN HAD HER DRESS PICKED OUT TO BE BURIED IN. OH YES, THEY HAD ABORTIONS BACK THEN, TOO. SHE SAID ONE NIGHT SHE WOKE UP AND SHE SAID, "SOME WILL LAUGH AT ME, BUT GOD WAS IN MY ROOM BY MY BED AND HE TALKED TO ME LAST NIGHT. I COMMITTED AN AWFUL SIN. BUT THESE CHILDREN I HAVE STILL NEED ME." SEEMED LIKE EVERYTIME THEY HAD SEX SHE HAD A BABY, BUT SHE PROMISED NEVER TO NEVER EVEN TAKE ANYTHING TO KEEP FROM HAVING THEM AFTER THAT AND SHE HAD THREE MORE. I WORKED WITH A GIRL AT WAYNOKA THAT TOOK A COAT HANGER AND CAUSED AN ABORTION. SHE ALMOST DIED. HER FINGERNAILS TURNED, YOU COULD JUST REACH DOWN AND PULL THEM OFF, AND HER TEETH, TOO. SHE WAS IN ENID IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A LONG TIME. ABORTION IS TAKING A LIFE, I DON’T BELIEVE IN IT. I’D A LOT RATHER TAKE SOMETHING TO KEEP FROM GETTING THAT WAY THAN I WOULD TO HAVE AN ABORTION. I THINK IT’S A SIN JUST LIKE TAKING YOUR LIFE OR MINE, IT’S A LIFE AS FAR AS THAT GOES. THERE’S SO MANY THINGS GIRLS CAN TAKE NOW, THERE’S NO SENSE IN IT. IF I HAD A GIRL NOW I THINK I WOULD TELL HER IF SHE HAD TO HAVE SEX AND COULDN’T WAIT, WHY GET HER PILLS AND TAKE THEM. I COULDN’T DO IT. SOMEONE TOLD HER TO TAKE A COAT HANGER, AND THERE’S JUST A CERTAIN PLACE THEY HAVE TO CATCH AND TEAR IT OPEN, BUT THEN SHE GOT INFECTED. TRAGEDY WE WERE LIVING OUT ON THE OLD HOME PLACE AT YALE. ROY WANTED TO BUY IT, HE HAD SUCH PLANS FOR IT, HE HAD GOT THE MONEY FROM FARMERS HOME AND HAD THE PAPERS FIXED UP AND EVERYTHING AND THEN HIS SISTER WOULDN’T LET IT BE SOLD. ROY WAS DOING CONSTRUCTION WORK AND HE SAID WHEN THAT JOB WAS FINISHED WE WOULD LEAVE THERE AND MOVE INTO TOWN. HE TOLD ME, "WHEREEVER YOU WANT TO MOVE WE WILL GO, STILLWATER OR WE WILL GO BACK TO BETHANY WHERE YOU ARE ACQUAINTED AND YOU CAN WORK IF YOU WANT TO." I WAS LOOKING FOR ROY TO COME HOME THAT WEEKEND AND HE DIDN’T MAKE IT ON SATURDAY. ON MONDAY MRS. WOODS DROVE OUT TO OUR HOUSE AND TOLD US SHE HAD SOME BAD NEWS. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT IT WAS MY MOTHER. BUT SHE SAID SHE HAD GOT A CALL FROM KANSAS AND THAT ROY WAS IN A CAVE-IN AND THEY WERE DIGGING TO GET HIM OUT. WE WENT INTO YALE AND WAITED THERE AT HER HOUSE AND THE SECOND CALL CAME IN THAT HE WAS DEAD. THE FIRST TIME THAT THEY CALLED THEY SAID HE WAS BURIED AND THEY HAD DUG HIS HEAD AND SHOULDERS OUT. THEN THERE WAS A SECOND CAVE-IN AND IT KNOCKED HIM ACROSS THE PIT, THEY WERE WORKING 19 FEET DOWN, AND BROKE HIS NECK. THAT WAS MARCH 18 WHEN HE WAS KILLED AND I COULDN’T CRY. I WENT THROUGH THAT WHOLE TIME—I SAT THROUGH THE FUNERAL IN A DAZE, NO TEARS, NOTHING. I JUST PUT MY CHILDREN OUT OF MY MIND. WE WERE SO CLOSE BECAUSE I WAS WITH THEM ALL THE TIME OUT ON THAT OLD FARM, WE DIDN’T GET TO GO ANYWHERE EXCEPT TO CHURCH, GET ON THE BUS AND GO TO CHURCH AND THAT’S THE ONLY PLACE WE WENT AT ALL. BUT I JUST PUT THEM RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND. I DIDN’T WANT TO LIVE. I HAD TO GO TO KANSAS TO SETTLE EVERYTHING UP. I TOOK CLIFFORD WITH ME AND WE GOT A ROOM THERE IN WICHITA, KANSAS, AND GLEN STAYED WITH WESLEY AND ANNA RITA AT HOME. I HAD TO SIGN THE INSURANCE PAPERS, IF HE HAD BEEN KILLED IN OKLAHOMA I WOULD HAVE GOT $35,000.00, BUT IT WAS IN KANSAS SO I GOT $6,000.00. I HAD TO BUY ANOTHER SUIT TO WEAR UP THERE I HAD LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT. ROY AND I BOTH WEIGHED 136 WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, HE WAS JUST TWO INCHES TALLER THAN I WAS AND WE WEIGHED ABOUT THE SAME. AFTER WE GOT BACK, ON THE 7TH OF APRIL, THAT’S WHEN I HAD A HARD TIME, I HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. IT JUST HIT ME ALL AT ONCE AND I COULDN’T QUIT CRYING. I WOULD HEAR SONGS THAT WE LIKED, MAYBE WE HAD DANCED TO AS KIDS—IT WAS AWFUL. I FELT LIKE I COULDN’T GO ON WITHOUT ROY, SO I WANTED TO DIE SO THAT I COULD BE WITH HIM. MY CHILDREN JUST CAME SECOND TO ME THEN. EVERYONE WAS SO NICE, THE PEOPLE FROM THE CHURCH WOULD COME OUT AND STAY OF AN EVENING WITH ME. MRS. WOODS WOULD DO THE CHILDREN’S LAUNDRY, SHE’D COME ABOUT EVERY DAY AND PICK IT UP. SOMEONE WAS WITH THE KIDS ALL THE TIME. THEY’D FIX FOR THEIR FAMILY AND WHOSE EVER TURN IT WAS, I GUESS THEY MADE IT UP BETWEEN THEM, THE FARM WOMEN’S CLUB OUT THERE AROUND WHERE WE LIVED. I WAS IN BED ABOUT SIX WEEKS, OUT OF MY MIND MOST OF THE TIME. CLARENCE AND BESSIE CAME OUT AND STAYED THERE WITH ME ALL THE TIME AND HELEN WAS HERE FROM CALIFORNIA, AND SHE STAYED THERE WITH ME, TOO. I WOKE UP ONE DAY, I WAS JUST KIND OF IN A COMA, AND MY BROTHER GLEN, AND CLARENCE, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, WAS SITTING THERE AT THE TABLE DRINKING COFFEE. I WAS ON A DAYBED THERE IN THE SAME ROOM. THEY SAID THE DOCTOR HAD BEEN OVER THAT DAY AND HE HAD TOLD THEM IF THEY DIDN’T GET ME OUT OF THIS SOON I WOULDN’T BE AROUND LONG. I WAS DETERIORATING. CLARENCE SAID, "WELL, IF SHE DOES GO, WE CAN DIVIDE THE CHILDREN UP BETWEEN US." I DIDN’T WANT EITHER ONE OF THEM TO HAVE THEM. I KNEW HOW CLARENCE WAS WITH HIS GIRLS, HE WAS GOOD TO THEM, BUT THEY PUT THEM OUT IN THE FIELDS, GOT UP REAL EARLY, SOON AS YOU COULD SEE, WORKING IN THE FIELDS. HE’D BE OUT THERE MILKING THE COWS IN THE MORNING CARRYING A LANTERN. THAT’S JUST NOT LIFE. SO I KNEW ENOUGH THAT I BEGAN TO WORRY ABOUT THE KIDS. I WANTED TO DIE, I WANTED TO GO WITH ROY, BUT WHEN I HEARD THEM SAYING THAT, TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH MY KIDS, I CHANGED RIGHT THERE. I WANTED TO STAY AND TAKE CARE OF THEM MYSELF. I HAD BEEN WORRIED ABOUT ROY, I WAS AFRAID MAYBE HE WASN’T SAVED [BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN OR HE HADN’T COMMITTED HIS LIFE TO JESUS]. I KNEW HE WAS WONDERFUL AND ALL THAT BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS SAVED. I DIDN’T KNOW WHETHER JUST A GOOD PERSON COULD GO TO HEAVEN OR NOT. SO I HAD THIS DREAM, IT DIDN’T SEEM LIKE A DREAM, IT WAS MORE LIKE A VISION. I THINK GOD TOLD ME THAT TO EASE ME, I DON’T THINK I EVER WOULD HAVE GOT WELL IF I HADN’T HAD THAT DREAM. I FELL BACK TO SLEEP AFTER THEIR CONVERSATION, THE DOCTOR HAD ME DOPED UP, AND THIS IS WHAT I DREAMED: I WAS OUT WALKING IN THE WOODS. I CAME TO A STREAM, JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AND CLEAR, I COULD SEE THE ROCKS DOWN IN THE WATER. I LOOKED UP AND THERE WAS ROY ON THE OTHER SIDE, STANDING THERE IN THE CLOTHES HE WAS BURIED IN, ONLY HE HAD HIS BOOTS ON. ON HIS SIDE OF THE CREEK, IT WAS CLEAN AND CLEAR, THERE WASN’T ANY DUST ON THE LEAVES, EVERYTHING WAS CLEAN, THE FLOWERS WERE BRIGHT AND PRETTY. THERE WAS A ROCK FENCE GOING UP OVER THE HILL AND I COULD SEE A CHURCH ON UP THERE WITH A HIGH STEEPLE, PAINTED JUST A SNOWY WHITE, AND THERE WAS WHITE PEGEONS CIRCLING THAT STEEPLE. THE SKY WAS A BEAUTIFUL BLUE AND I COULD SEE SOME WHITE CLOUDS AROUND. I LOOKED AT ROY AND HE WAS STANDING THERE LOOKING AT ME, CHEWING HIS BOTTOM LIP. HE HAD A HABIT OF DOING THAT OR PICKING AT HIS HANDS. AND HE NEVER SAID A WORD, BUT HE WAS WATCHING ME TO SEE IF I WAS GOING TO CROSS THAT CREEK. I THINK I WOULD HAVE DIED IF I HAD CROSSED THE CREEK, I WOULD HAVE WENT WITH HIM. BUT I JUST WATCHED HIM AND THEN DIRECTLY I HEARD THE CHILDREN, AND HERE THEY COME AND PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE CREEK, I WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE EDGE OF IT. I GUESS THEY DIDN’T SEE THEIR DADDY, CAUSE THEY NEVER LET ON. THEY KEPT PULLING ME AWAY AND I WOULD TURN AROUND AND LOOK. HE WAS STILL STANDING THERE AND THEN DIRECTLY HE TURNED AND BEGAN TO WALK UP THE PATH. IT WAS WHITE GRAVEL ALONG THERE GOING UP TOWARDS THE CHURCH. AND HE WAS JUST WALKING ALONG LOOKING AROUND ON BOTH SIDES. I COULD SEE THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS, GRASS, AND EVERYTHING SO CLEAN AND MY SIDE WAS DUSTY AND DIRTY. HE WAS STILL WALKING UP THAT WAY AND THE LAST I LOOKED BACK HE DISAPPEARED BEHIND SOME SHRUBERY BY THE CHURCH. WHEN I WOKE UP WESLEY WAS STANDING AT THE END OF THE COUCH. HE HAD HIS T-SHIRT THROWN UP AROUND HIS NECK WITH ONE HAND AND WITH HIS OTHER HAND HE WAS PATTING MY HAIR. CLIFFORD WAS SITTING ON THE EDGE OF A CHAIR THERE BY MY BED THAT HAD SOME WATER AND SOME FRUIT THERE FOR ME. ANNA RITA WAS SITTING THERE ON THE BED AGAINST ME. I LOOKED AT ALL OF THEM, AND THEY LOOKED SO PRECIOUS AND I THOUGHT "HERE I WANTED TO LEAVE YOU." I BEGAN TO GET BETTER AFTER THAT, I FOUGHT TO GET WELL AND I DID. I HAD TO HANG ON TO THINGS WHEN I WALKED, I WAS SO WEAK, AND I HAD LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT. I FELT BETTER ABOUT ROY AFTER DREAMING ABOUT THE PLACE WHERE HE WAS AT. I HAD A CLEARER MIND ABOUT HIM. I DIDN’T FEEL BAD, I FELT LIKE HE WAS ALL RIGHT AND I NEVER WORRIED ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. I ALWAYS THINK IT WAS JUST A VISION, GOD LET ME KNOW. WIDOW A FRIEND I HAD WORKED WITH FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS AT THE BETHANY ORPHANAGE HOME CAME TO SEE ME AFTER ROY WAS KILLED. SHE MARRIED A MAN THAT WORKED THERE, TOO. HE TAUGHT THE BOYS ABOUT OUTSIDE WORK. SHE WAS 15 YEARS OLDER THAN HE WAS AND THEY HAD TWO CHILDREN. ANYWAY, THEY CAME DOWN TO SEE ME, THEY DIDN’T COME DOWN FOR HIS FUNERAL BUT THEY CAME AFTERWARDS, AND THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY HAD THIS PLACE HERE AND IF I WANTED IT THEY WOULD FIX IT SO I COULD BUY IT. IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE MUCH THEN. AND KRUGER, THEY TOOK ME TO HIM AND HE LET ME HAVE THE MONEY. WHEN I FIRST STARTED OUT, UNTIL I GOT ME A JOB, IT WAS $25.00 A MONTH I PAID ON IT, BUT I OWED $500.00 BESIDES HIS TO MY FRIENDS AND I PAID THEM EVERY MONTH $25.00 UNTIL I PAID THAT OUT. AND LATER HE RAISED ME TO $35.00, THEN $60.00, AND HE NEVER DID GO HIGHER THAN $60.00. A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN’T LIKE HIM, BUT HE WAS SWELL TO ME. ONE YEAR WESLEY GOT SICK, HE WAS AWFUL SICK AND I WASN’T FEELING GOOD EITHER, AND I CALLED HIM UP AND SAID, "MR. KRUGER, I CAN’T MEET IT THIS MONTH." AND HE SAID, THAT’S ALL RIGHT, WHEN YOU GET IT...." NOT MANY PEOPLE DO THAT. SO I DID AND I FINALLY PAID IT OFF AND THEN EVERY TIME I NEEDED MONEY I WOULD MORTGAGE. WE WENT OUT TO SAYRE AND STAYED AWHILE WITH ROY’S SISTER’S FAMILY. I WAS STILL BROKEN UP OVER HIS DEATH, SEEMED LIKE I JUST COULDN’T GET OVER IT, JUST COULDN’T GET WELL, COULDN’T GET MY STRENGTH BACK AFTER HAVING THAT NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. THE DOCTOR SAID IT WASN’T JUST HIS DEATH THAT CAUSED THAT, IT WAS THE BUILDUP OVER THE YEARS. MOTHER AND DAD HAD A LOT OF TROUBLE AND I HAD WORKED EVER SINCE I WAS JUST A KID, AND THAT JUST TOPPED IT OFF. BUT WE WENT OUT THERE AND STAYED ABOUT THREE MONTHS, AFTER WE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE. WE CAME BACK JUST BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED AND I GOT IN ON THE FALL SCHOOL TERM AND WORKED THERE SEVEN YEARS. THE WOMAN WE BOUGHT THE PLACE FROM TOLD ME ABOUT THE JOB IN THE PUTNAM CITY CAFETERIA THERE, I WORKED IN THE DININGROOM. SO I GOT HOME ABOUT THE TIME THE KIDS DID AND I WAS OFF IN THE SUMMER WITH THEM. AS SOON AS I GOT STRAIGHTENED UP WE CAME BACK. THAT HURTS TO SEE YOUR KIDS SUFFER. ONE DAY, WHEN WE WERE STILL ON THE FARM, WE HAD A BACK PORCH AND WE HAD A WOODEN BUCKET WE HUNG ON A CHAIN. IT WAS BOARDED UP SO FAR AND THEN WAS JUST SCREEN AND THE WATER STAYED COOL THERE, WE HAD A SEPARATOR OUT THERE AND EVERYTHING. ANYWAY, ROY’S HAT WAS HANGING THERE ABOVE THE MIRROR AND I HEARD CLIFFORD CRYING. HE’D GOT A BUCKET OF WATER AND BROUGHT IT IN AND HUNG IT UP AND HE SAID HE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SAW HIS DADDY’S FACE LOOKING BACK AT HIM JUST AS PLAIN AS HE EVER SAW HIM IN LIFE UNDER THAT HAT. I LIKE TO NEVER GOT HIM QUIET, HE JUST SOBBED. WESLEY, AT THE FUNERAL, WESLEY NEVER LET ON LIKE HE EVEN NOTICED IT. HE HAD A SOW THAT HAD PIGS, HIS DADDY HAD GOT HIM A PIG AND [HE] HAD RAISED IT, HE WAS IN THAT FARMER’S CLUB [FFA-FUTURE FARMERS OF AMERICA]. SHE HAD 11 LITTLE PIGS AND ONE DAY I SAW HIM STANDING OUT THERE AND I WALKED OUT THERE AND HE HAD ONE OF THOSE LITTLE PIGS IN HIS ARMS AND HE WAS JUST WASHING IT WITH TEARS. HIS DADDY HAD SAID, "BE SURE AND WRITE ME ABOUT IT NOW." AND HE HAD WROTE HIM BUT HE WAS KILLED BEFORE HE GOT THE LETTER AND THEY BROUGHT IT BACK WITH HIS THINGS UNOPENED.
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